Sunday, April 17, 2011

THE RHINO PARTY ENTERS RACE TO UNSEAT DICK HARRIS

April 13, 2011 Greg Fry Williams Lake April 13th A new candidate has joined the race to try and unseat Conservative MP Dick Harris in Cariboo-Prince George.  His name is Jordan Turner and he’s running for the Rhino Party. The 20 year old Prince George resident, student, and lifeguard says part of his economic platform includes installing airbags into the Toronto Stock Exchange to try and prevent future market crashes.  He says he’d also like to extend the power of the Bank of Canada to regulate food and sperm banks.  Turner insists he’s a serious candidate and says he’s in the race to win.  The other candidates include Heid Redl of the Green Party, Jon Van Barnevald of the NDP, Sangeeta Lalli of the Liberals, Henry Thiessen of the Christian Heritage Party and Independent Jon Ronan.  Canadians vote May 2nd.
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Platform Planks from 2008 campaign:
-Repealing the law of gravity
-Paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot
-Providing higher education by building taller schools
-Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages
-Moving the Rocky Mountains 6 cm to the West as a make work project.  (Federal Stimulus)
-Ending crime by abolishing all laws
-Paving the Bay of Fundy to create more parking in the Maritimes
-Making the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa.
-Storing nuclear waste in the Senate. "After all, we've been storing political waste there for years."
-Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California
-Putting the national debt on Visa
-Banning lousy Canadian winters
-Counting the Thousand Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jordan good to talk to you on the phone the other day.
After much thought and consideration I have decided to take the plunge and run for the Senator in Waiting position here in Saskatchewan.
As I am 47 I guess that when it comes to the party I am the oldes fossil in the bunch and therefore should run for the Senate as I am too old for the other election.
Good to hear from you.

Robert Thomas
saskrhino@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

You've got my vote. Hopefully, if the rhino party gets enough support, people will realize that this democracy stuff is a joke. Although I would suggest that instead of making you're platform a joke, it could instead work towards freeing us from this democratic oppression.

Robert Thomas said...

Glad to hear that you support me.
When it comes to this Saskatchewan Senator in Waiting election it really is one election that people should - but won't - pay any attention to.
As far as Pamela Wallin and the other five Saskatchewan Senators I truly ask do they represent the voices of the residents of the province of Saskatchewan, or personal business interests or the political party that appointed them in the first place.

Sadly they claim to represent the people when we did not elect them, we did not have any say in their selection and now we have NO say in how they represent us. The Senate of Canada is not at all a representative body, but we - all of the people - have to pay for it financially and politically.
Hopefully you are from Saskatchewan and tell others to vote for me when they do hold the Senator in Waiting, because I feel a decent vote against this silliness might just do a lot to wake people up.
Can you imagine though if the Rhinos win and then what would the Prime Minister do???

In reality people can call the Rhinos a great political joke, but when you think about it what is more of a joke on the voters of this country - the Rhinos or the Senate???

If you think it is the latter - as many people do - then vote your conscience and vote Rhino.